The first thing to do when you want to start fresh in life, is to forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for making the mistake of not believing in your own words, visions and listen to your own intuition. Traumatic things might happen to you and that might haunt you. I learned that when you want to change your life you no longer focus on who’s to blame for your traumatic experiences because you did not have control over that. It happened to you by other people that you have not control over. The only thing you can control your own mindset. When you discover what your input is in al of this you can start adjusting yourself. For me that was disassociating from my authentic self.
I did that out of a wounded child-like mentality with the idea that this was my only way to survive the sadness that was within me. I hold that childlike mindset, even as a grown woman. I did not listen to the signals of my intuition. I did hear a soft voice off... hmmm, something is not right. And because I used to listen to others more then myself, other people’s voices became normal and I lost contact with myself. So much that I did not recognize myself when I looked in my own eyes in the reflection of a mirror. Then I wanted to get to know what was behind those sad eyes but did not know how. I tried but did not succeed to restore myself, even in therapy. Instead I find myself in a self sabotage mode. The turning point was not long ago but the restore process has been building up ever I opened up my eyes. Starting with the way I viewed myself. Learning about my input on things and realizing that I am no longer that little girl who only has to listen to others. Forgiving myself for that was the first step. It does not matter who did it to me anymore. I wasted so much time on that. I know I have the power to change within me and focus on building my foundation. So forgive yourself for making mistakes and focus on what your life could be.
To do: Take a moment for yourself and ask yourself what are my mistakes that I do to attract the same painful lesson over and over again.